Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
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