Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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