The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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