Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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