Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
honey bunches of taint.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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