Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
