Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Sober January is a disaster.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
