I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
