Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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