I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I supernannyed him into submission
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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