I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
