do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
