so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
