Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just gift wrapped bread.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
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