I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
