If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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