Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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