Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
