just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
