I'm eating all of the evidence.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
