i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
