Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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