i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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