Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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