I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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