Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
