Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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