If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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