he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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