Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
