The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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