he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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