I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I think i got beer on your cat.
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