Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
