You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
