The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
