I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
