In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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