im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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