If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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