I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
