she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
