I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I need moral support for this bender
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
