I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
