Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
