I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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