never play flip cup with pint glasses
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
