You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Everclear isn't food dammit
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
