I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
