I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
