I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Randomize
