My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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