It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
