If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
