Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
