Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
