I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
